Halloween has always been my favourite holiday. You get to dress up as anything you wanted, go door to door with your friends and get free stuff. Sounds like fun to me. Then there’s those people that ruin Halloween by giving out crappy
stuff. Call me greedy or ungrateful, I don’t care, just give out better stuff. Here’s a look at the stuff I hated getting when I was younger.
Raisins: I’m a little kid, why would I want to eat raisins? You might as well give me prunes and when I get the runs from those prunes, I’m going to shit in a bag, light it on fire, leave it on your doorstep, rung the doorbell and run. You’re lucky raisins didn’t give me the runs. I’m not talking about chocolate covered raisin, at least those have candy in it. I’m talking about boxes of raisins people give out.
Peanuts: Not only could I not eat these because I wasn’t sure if you dipped the peanuts in poison but they also dirtied up my candy bag with broken shells. If you’re going to give out peanuts, at least get peanuts that are in some form of packaging.
Toothbrushes: Halloween candy is all about eating so much candy you’re teeth rot. I don’t want your crappy .99 cent toothbrush, I’ve got a great $5 one at home. You ever notice they don’t even give out the good toothbrushes? It’s the generic crappy one you clean shoes with?
Tootsie Roll: I don’t even know what the hell this stuff is. Is it chocolate? Synthetic chocolate? Whatever it is, it’s not very good and the first bite into a hard tootsie roll is enough to make your jaw crack. I’ve had one of my fillings pulled out by a tootsie roll when I was younger, ever since then I’ve had a hate for tootsie rolls. They even come in huge sizes, why would I want to eat a bigger piece of shit?
Apples: If you run out of candy and give out apples, then okay, at least you tried. If you purposely give out apples on Halloween, I don’t even know what to say to you. My parent’s wouldn’t let me eat it because they’re not wrapped, could use them as an object to throw at other kids to get their candy.
With kids now a days pulling more dumb pranks that border on vandalism, why would you want to make your house a target by giving out crappy stuff? I’ve never seen a house giving out full sized candy bars or chips or handfuls of fun sized candy bars ever getting egged. Let this be a warning and don’t complain if your house gets egged because you were giving out crap.
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